Funny Things September 1, 2009
A
yearbook is a funny thing. Maybe funny isn't the right word. Most of the
pages don't matter. Someone hands you the thing, and you aren't to read
a single hand-written word. Everything you are holding in your hands
belongs to the memory of the owner, and it is strictly unshareable.
You make your mark. If it's just a classmate you're acquainted with,
something along the lines of "I loved being in (class) with you! Good luck next year at (school) !"
will do. They are empty messages, thoughtlessly written to get through
the stack, but you want countless amounts of such messages in there
anyways. Sometimes, they'll branch out and insert "I'll never forget
the time (teacher) yelled at us for (unacceptable behavior) ! Good times!"
Either
way, it is the seeming novels that matter. Pages written in a tiny
script in at least half an hour. They are the most honest messages
friends ever need to tell each other. Such honest, though, only comes
written as a parting messag. Such honesty never witnesses more than two
pairs of eyes, the writer and the friend. There are millions,
undoubtedly, of such messages scrawled through misty eyes, and no
onebut one person will ever read them. They are the greatest secrets of
our lifetime, and we keep them stacked in the basement only to be pored
over by curious children years later. They do not bother reading the
most valuable messages. Those honest words are safe because they are
long and irrelavent. Not sad to them, not funny. Your kids weren't
there, your kids don't remember. Maybe soon, given another couple
years, you won't either.
But I'm not there yet, I've still got time to cherish memories only my eyes will register.
And
before it's too late, I want to thank those that took the time to etch
letters onto my pages (and with them, memories in my mind) - they may
only make sense to one person, but that does not make them
insignificant.
Thank Our #1 Fan August 23, 2009
This post is dedicated to our "#1 fan" (not my words) who requested that we update our bulletins. So here.
Actually,
as much thanks as I have for our biggest fan, I want this post to be
for all of the people I've met, talked to, crossed paths with,
befriended, loved, and got to know in the past four years. Most of
those people have impacted me, and I don't want to sound cheesy, but
too late.
In exactly one week, I'll be moving into my dorm at
NYU. As much as I want the next seven days to fly by, I realize that
next Sunday, I'll think "Wow, that week went by fast." And so will
every other week, and somehow my next four years will go by just as
quickly. I don't think it's a good thing to be in conscious realization
of the fast movement of time, because instead of living up the present
moments, I'll be dwelling on the fact that it's going to be over in the
next.
It's a habit I'm going to try to kick. My problem being
that I worry too much about too much. I've got to settle on existing in
the moment that is "now," let it come, and not be obsessed with the
fact that it'll pass as soon as it came.
I don't know how much sense this is making to anyone, but writing it down might help me.
Anyways,
I'm also determined to make the next 4 years the best of my life. I
don't know where I'll be in 2013, what I will have planned for myself.
Right now, though, I'm certain that I still have time to live more or
less carefree (versus the popular 9-5 lifestyle that usually follows
college). AND THAT'S WHAT I'M GONNA DO.
Okay, that's all. I'll try to update more often.
A Year in Review May 25, 2009
Today, I told a friend: "at
the beginning of the year, we had this huge mound we knew we'd have to
tackle, and we were kind of... nonchalant about it. we knew it'd
happen, but we just lived life, you know? and we applied to schools,
and it was grueling (i can't believe we applied this year... wow) and
we wanted it to be over. and then we waited, and senioritis hit. we
finally got into schools, and now it's over. everything that we've been
looking towards at senior sunrise is now coming to a close."
And
that's really all I have to say on the matter because as much as I'm
looking forward to the coming fall, I am in awe at how quickly it all
unraveled.
April 9, 2009
I have a problem
with clichés.
Because when using one is actually fitting, you lose all seriousness
and it's a very sad moment.
Envelope
glue!
April 6, 2009
Between
my two and a half hour nap, breakfast at three in the afternoon, and
eating Girl Scout Cookies and ice cream, I feel utterly unproductive
today. But I'm okay with that.
And yesterday, I decided on where I'm going to college.
NYU
2013!
Yup, yup.
I just licked my deposit envelope closed. I have never before been more
comfortable with the taste of envelope glue.
In
the land of sarcasm and AWESOMEness.
March 16, 2009 The College Process:
1. Work hard since kindergarten. (This can be compared to climbing a
mountain in the Himalayas.)
2.
Be involved. (Help out the environment on the way, throw the trash in
your backpack, push some rocks to the side to make the path better for
people taking the hike behind you. But make sure people know YOU'RE the
one who did it.)
3. Research schools. (Yeah, I don't really know how to fit this into my
awesome metaphor.)
4.
Applications, Essays. (Right about now, you're thinking about turning
back, but in your 12 years of education, you've learned that if you're
already halfway there, you might as well keep going to the end.)
5. Waiting on replies. (You're pretty much at the top, but there's no
oxygen up there, so you're suffocating and it's very sad.)
6. Remember that financial aid is important. (Again with the lack of an
awesome metaphorical comparison.)
7.
Then, BAM! You get in! (And this is like getting back down where
there's more room, there's people to talk to, and YOU CAN BREATHE
GODDAMMIT!)
A
little lobbying here and there...
March
5, 2009
Tuesday
night, lying in bed, I thought to
myself, 'It'd be funny if I didn't set my alarm.' Well, I did set it,
and to the appropriate time, too: 4:40AM. I just didn't turn it on. My
dad woke me up at 5AM, and I rushed to get ready in fifteen minutes.
At
5:20 in the morning on Wednesday, I was to report to the administration
building of school district. From there, a group of fifteen students,
myself included, my AP Government teacher, the superintendent, and a
local reporter, would take a school bus up to Albany and lobby against
unfunded mandates that schools in New York must follow. Our district
has no problem following these, and is one of the most compliant and
effective. Yet, many of these mandates do not pertain to us, or are
unnecessary, yet cost us hundreds of thousands of dollars.
A vital detail: We did not take a four hour bus ride to ask for more
money.
Set
with specific examples, we were to meet with three of our
representatives: Assemblyman Michael Fitzpatrick, NYS Senator John
Flanagan, and NYS Senator Suzi Oppenheimer.
When we reached our
state capitol, we took a tour of the building (extravagant and
expensive), and then made our way to Assemblyman Fitzpatrick's office.
I think he forgot that he was talking to people who will all be able to
vote in the next election. Continuously dropping the metaphor that
sounded like he pulled it out of a local gazette of, "taking off the
rose colored glasses and putting on clear ones," we were told again and
again that the state had no money to give us. We weren't asking for
money. He also told us that there was not even another place would
could take money from. We weren't asking for money. We were also told
that if we were to get what we wanted, someone else would complain.
That doesn't really matter because this is your job, but he did not
really want to understand what we wanted, which was not money from him.
Finally, he said that none of what we wanted could get done because he
was now in the minority (he can be considered one of the most, if not
the most, conservative assemblyman in Albany right now). Overall, we
were treated like we were middle schoolers who did not understand
politics (all of us are seniors in high school studying AP Gov), and we
were told that our goals were impossible.
Maybe we weren't clear
on what we wanted, as Assemblyman Fitzpatrick seemed to have no idea
what we were lobbying for. Yet, during our last meeting, our main
speaker was told that she was one of the best speakers they had heard,
being clear, concise, and offering proof and evidence.
That day, one man lost at least fifteen votes in next year's election.
Senator
Flanagan was next on our itinerary, and he rushed out of a meeting to
hear us out. While he told us that he doesn't dance around anything, we
heard about his children and children along with some of their notable
endeavours, how much he loves our town (he is from the next town over),
and asked us about our tour. He told us he agreed with all we were
saying, and he was doing his best to do exactly what we wanted. He was
a bit rushed and tight on time (though he obviously did have enough of
it to tell us a little about his personal life...), but we did get our
point across, and we learned that what Assemblyman Fitzpatrick told us
was impossible, was actually... not.
We were then called to call
his assistant when we finished with Senator Oppenheimer, and he would
take us to the Senate, which is off bounds to the public. And then we'd
take a picture, and everyone would receive a copy. How... political of
him. Either way, we had much more of a pleasure talking to him than our
first experience which left us feeling downtrodden.
After a
short lunch, we learned that Senator Oppenheimer was unable to make the
meeting, but we met with two of her representatives, who, even though
they had only worked under the Senator for at most, two weeks, knew all
of her stances. Those stances were very promising for us. The two women
seeing us took diligent notes on all we had to say, all the numbers and
statistics we offered them, and our solutions to the issue (they were
the only ones to write all of this down).
The day improved as it
went on, and we left with on a good note. But no matter how the day
ended, we will not forget our meeting with Assemblyman Fitzpatrick (as
you can probably tell, by the fact that I bring him up many a time).
And
overall, this was a very good experience, seeing the functions of the
government and how it actually goes through it's motions. As it always
is, I learned more from this one day than any length of time in a
classroom. And while politics is certainly not something I would like
to go into, i have a better understand of how it all actually works,
what the people are really like, and a more substantial opinion on the
whole matter.
February 10, 2009
I
recently read about Bill Gates and his AWESOME plan to teach people a
lesson about malaria.
Well,
good. I bet the people at the TED2009 Conference were worried that the
mosquitoes Bill Gates released during the discussion had the disease.
They were probably all scrambling to get out of the room in fear. What
a waste of keeping mosquitoes trapped in a jar.
It actually
sounds like a very Michael Scott (of the Office) thing to do. Or maybe
even Dwight Schrute, who on a recent episode set the office on fire to
teach his co-workers about fire safety. He nearly killed a guy who
suffered from a heart attack.
What an idiot (that refers to... yeah, draw your own conclusions).
January
21, 2009
Never
before has time moved this quickly for
me. But maybe a few updates on my life before all I hear is the sound
of it moving past me?
I, like many others, was moved by
yesterday's Inauguration. It's a bizarre feeling to know that there was
a major shift of power just last night, and yet, we're all here. Every
four years or so such a shift happens, yet, America succeeds in a
peaceful transition each time, something unheard of in some other
countries, and even in our own only a few hundred years ago. It's also
momentous time for my generation, because this is really the first time
we are witnessing such an event with our memory completely useable. At
ten, I didn't really think much of presidential elections. But I wish
President Obama the best of luck!
Since the new year, I've started a... project I guess in which I take
one photograph a day. You can see my progress here.
Unfortunately, I went over my upload limit for the month, so I can't
update that until February. But I have indeed so far taken 21 pictures.
I consider it a success. (The picture below is the one from today. If I
can't post it on Flickr at the moment, I'll put it here.)
But I
feel good about this year. In tone with Obama's inauguration, it's
definitely going to be a year of change. I'll be moving on to an
independant existance, along with thousands of other high school
seniors. But I'm excited.
There's a Killers show in Madison
Square Garden this Sunday. I'll be there. I'll also be at the Bishop
Allen show on April 5. Concerts give me things to look forward to, and
somehow, time goes by faster when I've got a show schedule. Before I
know it, it'll be Sunday. And then April 5 (and maybe some other dates
in between?).
And everything seems to be a final hurrah before I leave the people I
grew up with.
August 24, 2009
I wonder where I will be a year from today. I
wonder what I will be like, and how or even if I’ve changed. I wonder
if I will be happy. I wonder who I’ll be friends with, and who I
managed to keep in touch with from my past. These are some things that
have been running through my mind as my final days in my hometown are
going by. I know that most people are probably feeling sadness and
excitement as they are about to embark upon a new journey, and so am I.
I spent so many days in the beginning of year sporting that look of a
deer standing in road of senior year, caught in the headlights of
college indecision. Now, here I am, with only five days left before I
leave home to start over. I’m excited. I feel that I am ready to try
new things and to gain new life experiences. I cannot wait to meet new
people and see new places. I’m excited for that independence that I
have been asking for for the past couple of years. I’m scared. I
know that that independence that I will get will come with great
responsibility that I fear at times I’m not ready for. I’m sad. I
have never been a fan of goodbyes. I’m not quite sure how to say
goodbye to the people who helped make me who I am today. They are the
people I love and the people I will carry in my heart wherever I go. But I know farewells and new beginnings are all part of life. I know that somehow I will make it okay. I know that somehow we’ll all make it okay.
April
23, 2009
My job is
far from being the coolest one in
the world. I am a page at a library. My job is to put recently returned
books back on the shelves, and to assist patrons with whatever they
need help with. Most of the time, working at such a quiet place does
get pretty boring. The quietness sometimes gets to me, but other times,
I find comfort in the silence. But the silence does make force me to
think sometimes. It gives me time to overanalyze various things in my
life, and it gives me time to really notice my surroundings.
One
of the things I often wonder about while working at the library is who
has read the books that are there. Sometimes thinking about this makes
me a little sad. I cannot help but see the amount of people looking
through books about depression-- how they know if they have it, what
can they do to cope with it or how they can help someone who has it. Or
the people browsing books about how to get through the pain of a
divorce and how they can make sure their kids are okay with it. There
are also people who check out books about getting through an eating
disorder, handling life with cancer, overcoming addictions, and dealing
with the aftermath of a physical or sexual abuse.
Sometimes I
wonder if people read these books for research or because they are
going through something so terrible. Whenever I think it is the latter,
I just want to reach out to them and tell them that it's all going to
be okay, but I know that it's not really my place. So here I am now,
writing this bulletin, hoping that those people who might be
experiencing these problems might read this one day. I'm just that girl
from the library who puts back the books that you browse through, but I
know that you'll be okay.
December
29,
2008
"Whenever I get gloomy with the state of the world, I think about the
arrivals gate at Heathrow Airport. General opinion's starting to make
out that we live in a world of hatred and greed, but I don't see that.
It seems to me that love is everywhere. Often it's not particularly
dignified or newsworthy, but it's always there - fathers and sons,
mothers and daughters, husbands and wives, boyfriends, girlfriends, old
friends. When the planes hit the Twin Towers, as far as I know none of
the phone calls from the people on board were messages of hate or
revenge - they were all messages of love. If you look for it, I've got
a sneaking suspicion love actually is all around." -Love Actually
Whenever I need to restore my faith in love and all things that warm
hearts, I watch this movie. It never fails to make me cry, laugh and
smile.
November 11, 2008
As days go by, the thought of leaving next year is becoming more and
more surreal. While at times, the thought seems incredibly exciting to
me, there are also those moments where I can’t help but feel sad and
nostalgic.
On Monday afternoon, as I sat with 320
people that I grew up with, it hit me that by this time next year, we
will all be in different places leading very different lives. While,
true, I have always known this, the fact that most of the people I have
known since I came to this country will no longer be in my life has
never really dawned on me. Of course there will be those that I will
always keep in touch with, but a part of me will really miss this place
and everyone in it.
Someone once told me that
when we leave this town, it will never be the same to us. We will come
back as different people who have developed new wants, learned new
lessons and experienced new things. But I hope we all remember that we
have all made memories here, some wonderful and endearing while some
less so, but those memories will always be part of us for they have
helped us become who we are today and who we will ultimately be. It is
strange to think that in time, most of us will become a population of
mere memories to each other. But I hope we all smile when we look back
and remember all the great times we had. I hope we all take a little
bit of each other and a little bit of this place wherever life takes us.
September 15, 2008
It
started with a sunrise. In less than a year, a wave of maroon and white
will mark the end of an era. Until then, here's to a great, memorable
year with my best friends...
September
1, 2008
In
the midst of summer vacation, I looked up and felt serenity just by
glimpsing the clouds.
I hope
you all
had a good one.
June 23, 2008
It’s
officially summer, and I am glad. While I do have another final to
take, at least it’s almost over. The summertime is my favorite of the
year, and not just because there is no school. I just love the weather
and the spirits floating around during the summer. While I don’t really
have any GREAT big plans, I am still looking forward to it. Perhaps
because a couple of weeks ago, I reached a new level of freedom-- I
finally bought a car! He is lovingly known around these ends as The
Boss, and he made me realize my next topic for The Bulletin.
See,
I have been driving around my town a lot to get myself acquainted and
familiarized with this new vehicle of mine. Those times are usually
spent listening to music so loudly that I find myself in my own little
world. A realization came over me when I felt serenity and comfort just
by having my hair blow in the wind while blasting my favorite songs on
the radio-- It is the little things like that which are often taken for
granted. Just those things that bring such little pleasures that make
me so happy. They’re things like looking at the clouds on a nice summer
day, stargazing while laying on the grass with people I love, looking
for a rainbow after a big storm. I’m sad to say that I often overlook
those things that I used to love doing. I claim myself to be a
scavenger of love and beauty in the world yet many times I don’t see
them in what is right in front of me. So this summer, those are some
little pleasures in life that I am planning to rediscover.
I
hope you’re not afraid of rediscovering little pleasures as they are
often very much underrated. It’s never too late to love something or
someone again.
This post doesn’t make sense. I just ramble too much; you’ll learn that
soon enough.
